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La estupidez humana – América 2.1
La historia de la estupidez humana comienza probablemente con el primer hombre, y no ha terminado aún. Nos cobija a todos por igual, independientemente de razas, sexos y credos. Es tan extensa, que en el reducido espacio de esta sección cabe apenas una muestra ínfima. Albert Einstein creía que era infinita. Así decía con tono burlón: “Sólo hay dos cosas infinitas: el Universo y la estupidez humana… pero de la primera no estoy seguro”.
Los pitagóricos estaban convencidos de que era más saludable hacer el amor en invierno que en verano, y que todas las enfermedades eran causadas por la indigestión, por lo que debían comerse los alimentos crudos y beber sólo agua.Aristóteles, quien lo creyera, sostenía que las mujeres tenían menos dientes que los hombres –y estuvo casado dos veces, apunta con sorna Bertrand Russell–, que los niños eran más sanos si eran concebidos cuando soplaba viento norte y que los cuerpos celestes eran empujados por dioses a lo largo de sus trayectorias.
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Una vez descubiertos los rayos X, se ofrecieron inmediatamente en el mercado anteojos para detectarlos, pero un político moralista, cándido como el que más, luchó por su prohibición, pues con ellos se acabaría la intimidad al poder atravesar ropas y paredes. Algunos fabricantes de ropa interior para damas se aprovecharon de la candidez humana para vender prendas a prueba de rayos X. El mercado de los inocentes. Un mercado en permanente expansión. Ahora por la Internet uno puede conseguir un casco que impide que los alienígenas lean los pensamientos del usuario. Ya hay varios testimonios de clientes satisfechos. También anuncian un collar que permite, en el caso de ser abducido por extraterrestres, que nos ubiquen entre los mundos exteriores y así podamos encontrar la ruta de regreso al planeta tierra.
Una de las historias más increíbles, por su estupidez, está relacionada con las matemáticas. En Estados Unidos, en el estado de Indiana, al terminar el siglo XIX, la Casa de Representantes aprobó por unanimidad un proyecto de ley en el que se determinaba que pi debería ser 3; nada del 3,1416, tan incómodo. Gracias a la oportuna intervención de un profesor influyente, la estúpida simplificación se archivó en forma indefinida. Los marxistas de extrema extrema no se han quedado atrás: en la Enciclopedia Soviética se declaró que la teoría de la relatividad era incompatible con el materialismo dialéctico. Por su lado, el bárbaro Lysenko atrasó varias décadas la agricultura de la Unión Soviética, pues dizque los avances de la genética logrados en Europa y Estados Unidos eran burgueses.
Los agüeros forman una parte importante de tan triste historia. La fobia al número 13 o triscaidecafobia no ha perdonado ni a los ingleses, tan civilizados como los creemos, sin que nadie hasta el momento haya podido confirmar las supuestas asociaciones negativas. Sin embargo, son tantos los afectados por tan estúpido agüero, que en ciertos sectores de Londres no existe la calle 13, debido a que los propietarios de inmuebles saben que, de numerarlas correctamente, encontrarían serias dificultades para arrendar o vender sus propiedades. Y no son pocas las ciudades en que los hoteles y edificios saltan directamente del piso 12 al 14. El número 666 arrastra también una inmerecida fama negra y apocalíptica entre los esotéricos. Por eso, tal vez, el ex presidente Ronald Wilson Reagan –sus tres nombres son de seis letras, curiosamente– hizo cambiar el número de su casa del 666 al 668. Después de tan “prudente” decisión no se acuerda de nada porque le cayó la enfermedad de Alzheimer.
Con la autorización de Legis
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