Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks

Time, friends, to PLAY BALL! Once upon a 1978, your humble servant, hawking vittles at The House that Ruth Built — the lowest of men on the totem pole — was relegated to selling ice cream on cold nights. But for whatever hitch, there was that one sunny Labor Day doubleheader against the Tigers when The Young Vendor was assigned peanuts, and sold many a bag thanks to deadly aim and the guys in Row R, Seat 17, so proud to show My Date in Seat 18 his ability to one-hand the tossed parcel of salted nuts. Yes, sweet memories of The Bronx are possible.

But . . . long before September’s games in lengthening shadows, there must come Opening Day, in all its glory, unlocking the spirit of spring, providing the opportunity for camaraderie and bonding, for the sounds of cheers and bat-meets-ball cracks and ball-meets-mitt pops and throngs singing the National Anthem, for elevating ’Murica in all its ’Muricany greatness. God bless you Abner Doubleday.

 
Best first pitches by U.S. presidents!!!