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Leila Guerriero: La contabilidad – América 2.1
Corro alrededor del cementerio de mi barrio. Alguien me pregunta; “¿En cuánto tiempo le das la vuelta?”. Digo: “Creo que en media hora”. Me pregunta: “¿Cuántos kilómetros son?”. Digo: “No sé”. “¿No te interesa saber?”. Digo: “No”. Porque no corro para medir o medirme. No corro para contabilizar o contabilizarme. No corro para saber cuánto corro y especular acerca de cuánto más podría correr. No corro para llegar más lejos ni para hacerlo más rápido. Corro, de hecho, para dejarme llevar, para perderme. Corro porque cuando empiezo a correr no sé qué va a pasar, hacia dónde van a ir mis pensamientos ni, en ocasiones, mis piernas: a veces salgo pensando en hacer un circuito determinado y, 15 minutos después, sin darme cuenta, tomo otro rumbo, distraída. Lo que se puede medir no es interesante. Lo que tiene una duración impuesta no es interesante. Lo que es previsible no es interesante. Lo que no es inesperado no es interesante. Lo que se conoce por completo no es interesante. Lo que se hace por estrategia de acumulación no es interesante. Lo que permanece inmóvil no es interesante. Lo que no es inestable —un poema, una vocación— no es interesante. A veces la gente se pregunta por qué dos personas siguen juntas después de muchos años. Yo creo que para averiguar qué pasa después. Hay un texto de Clarice Lispector: “Él buscaba y no veía, ella no veía que él no había visto que ella estaba allí. Sin embargo todo fue un error, y había la gran polvareda de las calles, y cuanto más se equivocaban, más querían con aspereza, sin una sonrisa. Todo sólo porque habían prestado atención, sólo porque no estaban lo bastante distraídos. Sólo porque, de repente, exigentes y duros, quisieron tener lo que ya tenían. Todo porque habían querido darle un nombre; porque quisieron ser. Y ellos ya eran” . Grandes catástrofes provienen de querer tener lo que ya se tenía: los pies ligeros para correr sin pensar hasta dónde; la dulzura para querer a alguien quién sabe cuánto, quién sabe cómo ni durante cuánto tiempo.
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